Not Worth Your Nothing

How to Destroy Reznor

Unless you’re a Trojan or Jack Woltz, you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. At least that’s what they say. But I’ve never really trusted them. There are plenty of free horses into whose oral cavities one can, and should, take a gander: a sample of dried edamame snack food in a little paper cup at Costco; complimentary breakfast at a hotel with rooms starting a $29.99; influenza. The first release from Trent Reznor (of Nine Inch Nails), wife Mariqueen Maandig, and third wheel Atticus Ross’ joint musical experiment How to Destroy Angels (HtDA) is another great example. So let’s take a look at it. Right in the mouth.

The most apparent difference between Reznor’s previous work (to which HtDA will most readily be compared) is having Maandig sing. I’ve always been interested in what NIN would sound like with a female singer, and eagerly awaited this release. However, I assume Reznor didn’t marry her because he thought she’d be a good addition to the band, nor does the love a talented musician impart upon you the ability to sing. Instead of choosing a female vocalist based off of, say, interesting vocal abilities, Reznor seems to have brought Maandig along on account of she presumably just didn’t want to sit at home alone all day while he’s out recording.

When asked his thoughts on the music video for “The Space Between” (one of six songs on HtDA’s self-titled release), a friend of mine commented, “She did a good job singing like a dead person.” This is, unfortunately, true for the other five songs.

Maandig is completely adequate. Average. Competent. She found a comfortable octave, and stayed there. She seems to spend the entire album trying to whisper as loud as she can. Whereas Reznor, in bygone days, will go from screaming to falsetto and back in one song, Maandig never raises her voice. Whatever the subject of the song, she seems to feel that lyrics need only be stated to have meaning. She sounds like a scared 7th-grader giving a monotone speech to her class; technically perfect, but emotionless and dull.

The music to which she’s set suffers from the same lack of dynamism. Most of the songs have the same unchanging drum beat from beginning to end. One of them doesn’t even change chords once, repeating the same measure of music in the same key with the same juvenile lyrics over and over and over. In fact, for much of the album, the only change the songs go through is they’re usually louder at the end.

What makes Reznor’s previous works so interesting is his range. The Fragile goes from “La Mer” to “Starf**kers, Inc.” The Slip (another gift horse from Reznor with both amazing teeth and no Greeks) goes from “Head Down” to “Lights in the Sky.” The Downward Spiral goes from “Hurt” to pretty much every other song on the album. Even individual songs (“March of the Pigs,” “With Teeth,” “The Day the World Went Away,” “The Perfect Drug”) go from quiet, thoughtful piano to screaming, guitar-laden rage within seconds. And, as previously stated, Reznor’s vocals follow suit. But such interesting musical stylings seem to be have been lost. HtDA’s repetitive and simple drums, inactive melodies, and refusal to change chords, tempo, volume, instruments, etc., evoke nothing but nostalgia for what once was and questions about what will come.

Parasite, the requisite noise-over-clever-bass-line song, is named such as it’s the only understandable word and makes up the entirety of the chorus (if you can call it that, as this is the song which remains musically static from beginning to end). Compared to other noisy songs from Reznor’s past, such as the explosive and charged Vessel, Parasite sounds like feedback followed by a mistake that wasn’t properly edited, and has the ability to drain the life out of you unless you kill it with the next button (or delete key). Given its name, perhaps it’s a success. BBB stands for “big black boot;” the majority of the song being a command to “listen to the sound” of said footwear. As the Reznor family doesn’t yet have children I’m not sure who wrote the lyrics to this one. A Drowning is the only song whose end I may ever hear again. It is repetitive and stagnant, but tolerable. So a 17% success rate. Rounding up.

By far the best thing to come out of this project is more of Rob Sheridan’s work, and the HtDA merchandise benefits because of it. The music itself is available as a free download from their website. If you have that kind of cash, $2 will get you lossless audio and the ability to download the music video for The Space Between. The same one that you can watch for free on the website, directly below the purchase link. Upon inspection, this gift horse is a lame, glue factory hopeful suffering from colic, and saddled by a rider born of convenience instead of qualification. It is just not worth your nothing.

continue reading

Posted by Jack on Tue, 8 Jun 2010
tags: reviews .

El Duckacabra

As one of my neighbors stated, Meredith and I have had a “harsh introduction to duck owning.”

As commonplace as the internet has become, it was still a surprise to many friends and coworkers that one could order ducks online and have them mailed to your home. We purchased ten back in August (nine hens and one drake who I named Darkwing), although a quick inspection of the box showed that only nine made it into our hands. I can only assume that, overnight shipping not being a duck’s preferred method of travel, stress and cool temperatures got the best of her.

continue reading

Posted by Jack on Wed, 23 Dec 2009
tags: non-boardgame .

Justification Failing

Apparently, I can not be trusted.

I had promised earlier that, as often as I could, I would try and post here. That has obviously not been the case. Not having internet access at my home, I am forced (banished also works) to completing my internet-based tasks while at work. Recently, my work environment has changed, and as such, my internet access has become significantly limited. Justification complete.

To be honest, I’m still not entirely comfortable with the idea of an oft-updated blog. The word “blog” (from the Latin “weblog”) still, to me, carries connotations with which I’m not entirely comfortable. As stated earlier, I don’t have internet access at my home. And less interaction with it means that I’ve not acclimated to the idea of the space that the internet has become for many. Broadband isn’t available in my area. If we want access, a modem and phone line is our only option. We also hunt our food with sticks and rocks, and eat it raw.

continue reading

Posted by Jack on Thu, 23 Apr 2009
tags:

No Ordinary Bauble

Over the past year or so I have begun to notice an interesting trend in the gift-giving in which I am involved. Regardless of what particular occasion necessitated said gift, it would often become apparent while unwrapping it that this gift was no ordinary bauble. A hand-knit sweater, a jar of salsa, 10 pounds of pork sausage, a long sought after board game. These gifts, often hand-made, were well thought out, researched, and had a sort of heft of purpose that my predictably-given DVDs, paperbacks, or gift certificates simply did not.

continue reading

Posted by Jack on Wed, 21 Jan 2009
tags: boardgame , corvid .

A Place to Publicly Rant

The Corvid Games website is now live, and, consequently, the blog is now live as well. It took some time to get from website idea to website, and, in the interim, the idea of a blog was tossed around. The possibility of a place to publicly rant was an interesting one.

The reality of this place, however, is slightly confounding. I’ve never kept any sort of publicly available documentation of my life or work. At least nothing beyond the occasional, sparse profile for websites I regularly use.

continue reading

Posted by Jack on Wed, 21 Jan 2009
tags: rant .